STFU, Cat Ladies
Hello cat ladies, lovers of cat ladies, and snarkers in general!

I apologize for the extended absence, but I became a little bit bogged down with moving 3 times in less than a year, working obscene amounts, and people threatening to sue me. But things have settled and I’ll try to bring more catloveritis into your lives.

I’d still love it if you’d send in submissions! HOWEVER, make sure that anyone you submit won’t be bothered if they’re submitted (I try to keep things as anonymous as possible), or just won’t see this blog. As much as I like receiving butthurt emails threatening to sue me, there’s better ways to spend my time than dealing with that.


Now, on to the matter at hand. 

This seems like the catlady version of STFU Parents. I don’t know what it is about Facebook that causes people to remove their social filters - it’s not anonymous, and there’s a chance that you see at least some of the people on your friends list off-line on a regular basis. Does this sort of thing come up in every day, real life conversation? 

I suppose there is this bright side: there weren’t any pictures of a smelly, filled kitty litter box.

Hello cat ladies, lovers of cat ladies, and snarkers in general!

I apologize for the extended absence, but I became a little bit bogged down with moving 3 times in less than a year, working obscene amounts, and people threatening to sue me. But things have settled and I’ll try to bring more catloveritis into your lives.

I’d still love it if you’d send in submissions! HOWEVER, make sure that anyone you submit won’t be bothered if they’re submitted (I try to keep things as anonymous as possible), or just won’t see this blog. As much as I like receiving butthurt emails threatening to sue me, there’s better ways to spend my time than dealing with that.


Now, on to the matter at hand.

This seems like the catlady version of STFU Parents. I don’t know what it is about Facebook that causes people to remove their social filters - it’s not anonymous, and there’s a chance that you see at least some of the people on your friends list off-line on a regular basis. Does this sort of thing come up in every day, real life conversation?

I suppose there is this bright side: there weren’t any pictures of a smelly, filled kitty litter box.

Hi everyone!

I’m working on posting more (and with a holiday theme!).

But I could use your help - working 40+ hours a week plus having VERY SERIOUS adult responsibilities limits the time I have to troll the internet for content.

SO.

If you have friends that talk about cats too much on Facebook (or even just really ridiculous one-time posts), or see something really awesome/awful related to cats floating around the internet, send it to me!

stfucatladies@gmail.com

In my decades of life experience, I’ve found that there are few things that most cats hate more than being clothed. But the pet clothing market seems to be a lucrative enough business, largely due to people who I assume are 1) using pets as surrogate babies, or 2) just plain mean.

Now that the holiday season is approaching, I bring you the first installment in what will undoubtedly be an extensive series, CATS IN COSTUME. Being the month of October, I’ve chosen to focus on Halloween. This one’s a little old, but still demands a resounding STFU, cat ladies.

WebMD: Vet Edition.

If I was “pretty sure” that my cat was “blind and possibly retarded,” I’d be whisking it away to seek professional opinion, not laughing about it over the internet. Kind of like I’d do for myself, if I thought I was blind (or “possibly retarded”) but wasn’t sure. But that’s just me.

Sorry, fuchsia square. Your descriptions of this cat lead me to two possibilities: 1) this cat is a stuffed animal, or 2) this cat was living once, but isn’t anymore.

WebMD: Vet Edition.

If I was “pretty sure” that my cat was “blind and possibly retarded,” I’d be whisking it away to seek professional opinion, not laughing about it over the internet. Kind of like I’d do for myself, if I thought I was blind (or “possibly retarded”) but wasn’t sure. But that’s just me.

Sorry, fuchsia square. Your descriptions of this cat lead me to two possibilities: 1) this cat is a stuffed animal, or 2) this cat was living once, but isn’t anymore.

THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.

THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.

The only person that I’ve ever trusted to care for my cats in my absence is my mother, because I know that she loves them. Also, she doesn’t do much else but tend to animals, having 3 cats and a dog herself. And I’ll still call her daily to check on them.

But as much as I love my cats, I don’t think any amount of catladyitis could make me miss finding cat crap in my shower.
The only person that I’ve ever trusted to care for my cats in my absence is my mother, because I know that she loves them. Also, she doesn’t do much else but tend to animals, having 3 cats and a dog herself. And I’ll still call her daily to check on them.

But as much as I love my cats, I don’t think any amount of catladyitis could make me miss finding cat crap in my shower.

Sorry for the extended absence, due partially to my learning how to function in society as a real live grown up (read: finally done university) and mostly to my own laziness.

Today’s submission came without any explanation from the submitter, unfortunately, but from what I gather, Red Squiggle #1’s cat lost some sort of cat pageant radio competition.  And it was obviously rigged because Mike (WTF?) the cat didn’t win.

Sorry, red squiggles, but sometimes you’ve just gotta admit that your cat, often like many peoples’ children, is average. Or just plain unattractive. I suspect that Mike falls into one of these categories.

Or else people were hesitant to vote for a cat named Mike.

Sorry for the extended absence, due partially to my learning how to function in society as a real live grown up (read: finally done university) and mostly to my own laziness.

Today’s submission came without any explanation from the submitter, unfortunately, but from what I gather, Red Squiggle #1’s cat lost some sort of cat pageant radio competition. And it was obviously rigged because Mike (WTF?) the cat didn’t win.

Sorry, red squiggles, but sometimes you’ve just gotta admit that your cat, often like many peoples’ children, is average. Or just plain unattractive. I suspect that Mike falls into one of these categories.

Or else people were hesitant to vote for a cat named Mike.

stfumarrieds:

TWU WUV does exist!
Just when you think you’ve seen it all and nothing can surprise you. Just when you think you’ve crossed the border and left Crazy Town… BAM! Wedding pictures with a stuffed cat walks up and slaps you across the cheek with one foot; while dancing a merry jig on its hands, and fashioning a tin-foil device to contact feline alien life-forms with the other foot.
It’s delusional entertainment for the whole family and clearly a match made in heaven. They’ve all found their soul-mates. E. and Kitty are sister-wives to J. It looks like the same-sex marriage haters have it wrong, and it is actually polygamy that leads to bestiality.
Do you think they make the cat watch them? I think the answer is, “Yes.” I shudder to think of what the cat has seen and where the cat has been.  I hope that Kitty isn’t underage or they’ve got some serious explaining to do. I’m relieved to see that Kitty has her own FB account. That way she can reach out for help if she really needs it.
This belongs on STFU, Cat Ladies.


I’d like to counter this STFU with a WTF.

stfumarrieds:

TWU WUV does exist!

Just when you think you’ve seen it all and nothing can surprise you. Just when you think you’ve crossed the border and left Crazy Town… BAM! Wedding pictures with a stuffed cat walks up and slaps you across the cheek with one foot; while dancing a merry jig on its hands, and fashioning a tin-foil device to contact feline alien life-forms with the other foot.

It’s delusional entertainment for the whole family and clearly a match made in heaven. They’ve all found their soul-mates. E. and Kitty are sister-wives to J. It looks like the same-sex marriage haters have it wrong, and it is actually polygamy that leads to bestiality.

Do you think they make the cat watch them? I think the answer is, “Yes.” I shudder to think of what the cat has seen and where the cat has been. I hope that Kitty isn’t underage or they’ve got some serious explaining to do. I’m relieved to see that Kitty has her own FB account. That way she can reach out for help if she really needs it.

This belongs on STFU, Cat Ladies.

I’d like to counter this STFU with a WTF.
Our submitter (whose identity I promise not to disclose!) has turned himself in for creating a Twitter account for his cat solely for the purpose of directing @ messages to it.

Our submitter (whose identity I promise not to disclose!) has turned himself in for creating a Twitter account for his cat solely for the purpose of directing @ messages to it.

A few links

Woman claims that her cat tries to LITERALLY kill her. The cat’s name is Renesmee. Yes. That’s right. Just out of Twilight. Submitter Nicki points out that “she probably got sick of the other cats making fun of her name.” Frankly, given the name, I’m impressed that the cat wasn’t driven enough to succeed in her homicide attempt.
ETA: Apparently the bitch who owned this cat CALLED THE PRESS HERSELF FOR ATTENTION. And now the cat has most likely been euthanized because of this moron’s inability to own a pet. Jackie O., Renesmee’s former owner, DIAF.

Cats and dogs are better than kids. I can’t really argue with any of these points. A special shoutout goes to Canada’s second least populous province-or-territory, the Yukon - one cat lady out of a population of 33 000 isn’t bad. Via Passive Aggressive Notes

I’ve gotten a bunch more submissions, but keep them coming! stfucatladies@gmail.com